Evil Overlord List Revised for Hudei Characters
by KitsuneHermit
Summary: A revision of the Evil Overlord list made by Himizu and Ryouko on fanfiction. This version includes inside jokes and characters from the novel Hudei.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Evil Overlord List. The Evil Overlord List belongs to Himizu and Ryouko, from This version has slight changes made to have it be funnier to those familiar with the in- progress Hudei Novel. I do own the in-progress Hudei Novel, and some of the ideas in it also belong to the real Kyoko, Shiro, and Erico! Enjoy!

Evil Overlord List, Items 1-12

Tret and his alter-ego, Souta, stood in front of curtains, ready to begin.

"Item 1… My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones."

The curtain was pulled back, revealing Saounga(Souta's dad) standing on a platform watching his troops (AKA, various members of the Cast) who were wearing black visors. They could not see, so they bumbled around awkwardly, crashing into walls and each other. Saounga put his head in his hands and shook his head in frustration.

"Item 2… My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through."

The curtain was pulled back to show various members of the Cast crawling through ventilation ducts, able to access every area of Saounga's fortress. Saounga made several notes, then sent in a team of Dark Elf carpenters to make the ducts smaller… and try to trap Char in the process, but on that note, they were unsuccessful.

"Item 3… My noble half-brother, whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon." Tret paused. "I feel like I should make a disclaimer after the viewers see this scene…"

"By all means…" said Souta. "I kinda feel the same way."

The curtain pulled back to show Saounga dragging Vlad(father of Raeana) down to a forgotten cell in his dungeon, then stopping, and thinking about this, before smiling evilly and drawing his sword. Souta whistled, and he stopped, shrugged, and put it back.

"See, the reason I made Vlad his half-brother is that, you know Saounga is a Dark elf or whatever… some kind of evil "creature"… and I've done too many RPG's where Vlad is also partly evil, which makes sense since I've thought they're supposed to be allies, but I thought it would be kinda funny, especially since Vlad is a vampire and supposed to be his ally… but Saounga's not really going to kill Vlad, ARE YOU?"

Saounga blinked. Tret glared. Saounga glared back. The pair stood there and glared at each other for a while. Vlad took the opportunity to leave.

"ITEM 4!" Souta yelled, causing the two glarer's to jump and stare at him in surprise. Souta treated them to a glare of his own and Saounga went back behind the curtain to prepare for the next scene, while Tret came to stand next to Souta, muttering under his breath as he did so.

"Item 4… Shooting is not too good for my enemies… Oh my… who came up with that?"

"How about swords?" Saounga asked.

"NO! GUNS!" Tret yelled at him.

"Fine…" muttered Saounga.

The curtain came up, showing Saounga grinning like a maniac and shooting a machine gun at Shiro and Char.

"You know, I'm starting to see why you two like these things so much…" Saounga admitted as he made Char dance by shooting bullets at his feet.

"Would we ever steer you wrong…" Saounga nodded. "You didn't let me finish! Would we ever steer you wrong in regards to weapons?" asked Souta,

"Ah… excellent point."

"Thank you. Anyways… Item 5… The artifact that is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object that is my one weakness."

The curtain goes up to show Saounga taking the artifact away from right under the noses of the sleeping Dragons and putting it in his safe-deposit box.

"They were horrible guardians anyway…" he muttered.

"Item 6… I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them."

A badly drawn cartoon of Saounga standing over Shiro and Char and pointing and laughing at them with his sword in hand appears. Finally the cartoon shows Shiro and Char getting mad and killing him. Saounga's eyes widen slowly and he begins to make notes on a clipboard.

"Item 7… When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No" and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him, then say "No"."

Another badly drawn cartoon appears, also showing Saounga standing over Shiro and Char. After Shiro asks him what this is all about, Saounga begins a very long-winded explanation, which takes many hours. In the meantime, Shiro and Char escape and bring back troops to defeat Evil Overlord Saounga, who is still babbling about his plans for world domination. Saounga's eyes widen even more and he continues to make frantic notes.

"Item 8… After I kidnap the beautiful princess(or handsome prince, for those who are girls), we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out."

"Tret…"

"What?"

"Who's going to be the princess…?"

"Um… about that…"

"Tret…"

"Well, I wanted to use Kyoko, but that seemed SO wrong."

"Yeah…"

"And Erico and Raeana don't really "look" the part…"

"Oh no…"

"So the only one left is…"

"Oh man… he's not gonna like this…"

"Well, would he rather…"

"No, shut up, you're going to say something stupid and I don't wanna hear it!"

"Fine!"

The curtain pulled back, revealing Saounga in a spiffy tuxedo, looking very classy… the princess bride was Aika(in actual fic-reality, Saounga's future wife, since his former wife died). Saounga's eye twitched madly as he walked up to where Kuro(Shiro's evil brother) was standing, playing the part of the priest. He glared at Shiro and Char, who were decorating the wedding area lavishly.

"It's supposed to be simple, fools!" Saounga exclaimed.

"I never thought I'd see it…" Shiro said, snickering.

Saounga's eyebrow twitched.

"Ahem… moving on! Item 9… I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such."

Saounga cackled as he watched Char push the big red button and dance around trying to avoid the bullets. Amazingly enough, he did, but Souta might have been helping with that. He needed Char to keep playing the buffoon in his Evil Overlord List.

"Item 10… I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum… a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well."

Saounga snapped his fingers at Erico, who was wearing a chauffeur's uniform. They drove a fancy limo to a Day's Inn to interrogate the enemy. How Tret and Souta created the illusion of a Day's Inn inside their studio, the world will never know.

"Item 11… I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat."

Saounga smirked as he was given permission to kill various anonymous demons who were representing his weaker enemies. The only note he left said "$# YOU!" There were no clues or riddles.

"Which of course, does not mean that Saounga-san isn't smart enough to do those things if he wanted to, he's just choosing not to," Souta said.

"Right… you keep telling yourself that…" Tret muttered. Souta glared.

"Anyways… Item 12… One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation."

"Well, we don't have any five-year-old children… but Kyoko will do."

The curtain was pulled back to show Kyoko eating her peanuts while Saounga explained his plans. Finally Saounga got mad because Kyoko wasn't listening and set many things in the studio on fire.

"ACK! What the heck are you doing, Saounga!" screamed Tret.

"This is getting ridiculous," Saounga snapped.

"Someone needs anger management classes," Tret growled. Saounga laughed.

"Try and make me take some," he challenged. Tret growled and an aura of darkness and fire appeared behind him.(did I mention he is half demon, related to shiro, and his half demon side is a fire-controlling kitsune?)

"CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!" He yelled at him.

"You should talk…" Souta muttered. Tret glared at him.

"All right, cut! That's enough for today. But we still have 88 items to go, so be ready when I tell you to be! Got it?" Souta called to the Hudei Cast. Incoherent mumbling answered him. He sighed. "It's hopeless…"

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Evil Items 1322

Disclaimer: I don't own the Evil Overlord List. The Evil Overlord List belongs to Himizu and Ryouko, from This version has slight changes made to have it be funnier to those familiar with the in- progress Hudei Novel. I do own the in-progress Hudei Novel, and some of the ideas in it also belong to the real Kyoko, Shiro, and Erico! Enjoy!

Evil Overlord List, Volume 2, Items 13-22

(A/N:Warning: I wrote this after going to the RMH from taking an anatomy test! My brain was fried! So if this sounds really off the wall, that's why! BTW, I got a 86 on the test, so I was also very happy!)

"WE'RE BAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!" Souta yelled, scaring the crap out of everyone.

"Why can't you at least try to be normal?" Tret demanded.

"NEVER BE NORMAL!" Souta, Kohanna, Ash and Saounga screamed simultaneously. Tret twitched.

"Um… okay…" he muttered. The evil elves grinned.

"Okay, let's get started! Welcome to our newest Co-Hosts, Kohanna and Ash! Places, everyone!" Tret yelled.

"Item 13… All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal," said Kohanna with a wicked grin.(A/N: I'm quite certain she was thinking of Raeana's death Xb ...)

Saounga grinned and conjured up a ball of fire. "That can be easily arranged," he said, smirking at Shiro and Char, who ran for their lives as Saounga hurled fireballs and shot a machine gun at them.

"We've created a monster…" Souta said. "And he's wasting my bullets!"

"He already was a monster," Tret replied. "And you can always conjure up more."

"Excellent point. Moving on. Item 14… The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request," said Souta while smirking.

Saounga glared as Shiro smoked a cigarette from a holder, like Captain Hook from Peter Pan. Char made out with Raeana. Saounga knocked the cigarette out of Shiro's hand, setting his shirt on fire. Then he tried to drag Raeana out of the room, but she and Char beat him up.

"Okay… that was a really bad idea…" Saounga muttered as Char and Raeana made out again. All except Char and Raeana rolled their eyes.

"Get out of here, Raeana! We're in the middle of filming here! You and Char can make out later, but we're busy now!" Tret yelled. Raeana snorted in disgust and stalked out. Tret rolled his eyes again. "Item 15… I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation," Ash announced this with a sneer plastered on his face.

Saounga fiddled with a digital clock and then made it blow up just as Char was climbing onto Shiro's shoulders to try to open a small trapdoor that he never would have fit through… Saounga laughed like a maniac as Char and Shiro lay on the floor with swirly eyes and suchlike.

"Item 16… I will never utter the sentence, 'But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know'," Tret smiled after previewing the cartoon that would follow.

A little cartoon popped up showing Saounga saying that sentence. As he paused, Char stood up and fired a Super Shocker at him, yelling, "Too bad, punk!" The cartoon then showed Char laughing like a maniac as Saounga ran around with his head on fire. Saounga sweatdropped and his eyes became small dots. (A/N: I had no idea what to name his lightning/thunder attacks...)

"Okay then…" he muttered, looking slightly frightened.

"Item 17… When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice," Ash looked thoughtful about this.(A/N: ...perhaps thinking of reinstating the Thieves Guild?)

Saounga was seated around a table with Kohanna, who was listening intently and filling Saounga with **_too_** many ideas, Karuto, who was making tornados, Kyoko, who was eating peanuts, and Aika, who was reading a book and not listening to anything Saounga was saying.(A/N: THE K'S ARE SEPARATED! OH, THE HORROR!!!)

"Make that… very, very occasionally…" Saounga muttered in disgust. Ash nodded his head vigorously in agreement.

"Um… yeah… Item 18… oh dear… I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time," said Souta looking quite baffled.

"WTF?" squawked Saounga. "I've already have a son, and It's you!!!"

"Yeah, why else do you think he said 'oh dear.' Just listen to the next part of it, would you?" Tret reminded him. Saounga scowled. Souta twitched slightly and signaled that the cartoon should be shown.

The cartoon showed Souta trying to take the crown from his father, Saounga, as Saounga tried to fight off Char with one hand and keep his son away with the other.

"Aaawww, it's so cute!" Kohanna said, laughing evilly while thinking of blackmail.

Souta rolled his eyes and said, "Item 18, Part 2. If I do have a son after getting married, I will be sure to raise him carefully, and instill all of the proper rules into his mind that would prevent him from taking over. If this still does not seem to work, I will..." Souta's eyes widen. "...Erase his entire memory and place him in a foster home!? Dad, you didn't _seriously_ do that did you?"

Saounga pauses and then whistles innocently.

Souta, "..Dad? DAD!?"

Saounga hid a grin behind his hand. Kohanna saw the grin, and thought it fit to inform souta, "Souta! Calm down! He is just joking! Move on to the next item already!!!"

Saounga scowled again. Souta twitched again. "Fine...He's really not going to like the next one…" he muttered. Kohanna read the script, and twitched as well.

"No he is not… but the show must go on! Item 19… I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father," Kohanna said this with a frown apparent on her face.

"… …" -.- Saounga was too angry to speak. Kohanna sweatdropped nervously.

A little cartoon showed the minature female Saounga flirting with a rugged looking young man, who pulled off a rubber mask and showed himself to be Shiro. The miniature female Saounga cut off Shiro's head and ran off laughing like a maniac. Saounga turned to stare at Kohanna. So did everyone else in the Cast, except Shiro, who ran and hid.

"You have problems," Ash informed Kohanna.

"Heh heh… Couldn't resist…" Kohanna admitted, grinning sheepishly. Souta shook his head with a sigh.

Saounga said, "...wait...doesn't that mean that "my daughter" would kill the hero, and thus not betray me?...I don't get it, so I guess it is a good thing I don't really have a daughter..."

Kohanna timidly speaks up, "Ummm, excuse me?"

Saounga replies without hearing her question, "1) I meant a blood daughter. 2) You're technically not my daughter until you _actually_ _do_ the wedding. And 3) You'll be married to Souta, so I don't expect you'll be flirting with any other guys like in the cartoon."

Kohanna blushes, "...uh, I didn't think of that..." (A/N: sorry, real-Kohanna, but I just couldn't resist! XD)

"...I'll ignore that...Item 20… Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly," said Tret.

Saounga twitched. "You are making fun of one of my favorite things to do…!?"

"YES, DAMNIT!" Tret exclaimed, annoyed.

Saouga sighed, cleared his throat, and let loose with a barrage of maniacal laughter that made Kohanna and Ash (the experts at maniacal laughter) somewhat impressed. Meanwhile, Char and Shiro walked all over Saounga's stronghold and stole his world domination plans while Saounga laughed like a nut in the middle of the room.

"Good scene guys!" Kohanna said. As soon as she spoke, Saounga's laughter stopped as though someone had pulled a plug from him. He stood there, calm and serious as ever, waiting for the next scene.

"You can tell he doesn't mind doing this," said Ash.

"How so?" asked Tret.

"He hasn't seriously attempted to murder you yet," Ash responded.

"What!? Has he tried to do that to you before?" Ash nods. "...Then point taken. Ok, item 21… I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set."

Ash and several other members of the Cast stood around wearing Nazi uniforms. Souta ran in and threw bombs at them and ran out again. Ash looked at Saounga.

"We're doomed, aren't we?" he said with a gloomy, "all is going to hell" look.

"Think positive, Lieutenant Ash! Positive!" Saounga declared. (A/N: Oh dear...Ash has been demoted from supreme leader/commander of his own troops, the Thieves Guild, to being _only_ the lieutenant of another man's troops...and it is a man who _has_ previously tried to kill him...--" ...)

"All right… maybe they'll allow us to surrender peacefully instead of massacring us." he said with a small grin.

"THAT'S NOT POSITIVE!" Saounga yelled. Ash fell over from the force of the sound.

"Sheesh, for a little guy, you're sure noisy…" Ash shut up as Saounga pointed his machine gun at his head. Ash then looked over at Tret. "I forever curse the day you gave him those." (A/N: Saounga is not by any means short...he is just smaller than the very tall Ash...)

"Hey, it was Souta's gun!"

"BASTARD! STOP STEALING MY WEAPONS!" Souta yelled.

"MAKE ME!" Tret yelled back.

"FINE! I WILL!" Souta yelled, racing in with a katana.(A/N:...He is starting to sound like Myotai...)

Tret jumped up, wielding his own katana. They battled for several minutes, until Saounga tripped both of them and glared.

"Saounga actually wants us to get back to filming… and readers aren't threatening his life. That has to be a first," Kohanna noted. "Okay, back to work. Item 22… No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. Oh this will be a good one."

Saounga looked at a giant ball of blue light that had to be at least twice the size of his head. "You have to be kidding me…" he muttered.

"Good choice, it'll turn you into a mutant with six arms and hair that will actually follow the law of gravity…" Kohanna muttered, bouncing the ball of light like a basketball. Saounga's eye twitched.

"Why do you have a giant energy field in your studio anyways?" Ash wondered.

"Uh… you never know when you might need one of these things…" Tret said, shrugging.

"What else do you have in here?" asked Saounga.

"Believe me, you don't wanna know!" Souta assured him.

After a moment of reflection, Saounga realized that he was right; he didn't want to know.

**_TO BE CONTINUED..._**


End file.
